Sunday evening, the day before my birthday, we had my family over to celebrate. I was so thankful they were willing and able to come be with me. JJ worked hard on making a cake for me. He started Saturday evening, making the cake from scratch. My dad came over earlier and had dinner with us and then we got ready for everyone to come over. We started to assemble the cake with the cream cheese filling, and I could see it wasn't very thick. I didn't put too much on and then put it in the fridge to hopefully set. We pulled it out to have my dad take a picture and to put the candles on. All of a sudden while we were standing there the cake started to fall apart. We hurried and tried to put it back together. We stuck a few toothpicks in to hold it but it didn't help. The filling was too soft to support the cake. It was only getting worse. I held the candles and we hurried and lite them and sang. Christy's family walked in the door just as we were going to sing. It still tasted amazing, and I was thankful for JJ and his hard work on making it. We laughed about it and hoped that the cake falling apart wasn't a sign to me as to what will come now that I am 40. We all had cake and ice cream and enjoyed visiting. Christy had brought up a clip from a family video that Joe wanted to see. I got out my home videos and we enjoyed watching a few, including the clip Joe wanted to see. It was Christy's famous singing of "Silver Bells" on Christmas day. It was fun to see us all together and having so much fun. Lucy mentioned to me later how much she enjoyed watching them and said they were really fun. I told her that we had a lot of fun when we were growing up. There was always something fun going on, someone to hang out with and always lots of laughter.
My birthday was Monday, a normal day of work and activities. The ladies at work were sweet and sang to me and got me a cookie cake. JJ surprised me by coming by during Nolans lunch with some cookies from Twisted Sugar. I shared them with the ladies at work and then brought home what was left. Lucy and I went back to Twisted Sugar for my birthday cookie. That evening I put a candle in the cookie, and everyone sang to me again since it was my actual birthday. The kids and JJ got me some thoughtful gifts. I know Lucy took the boys shopping and they all picked out some things for me. It was really sweet! When we had picked the boys up from my dad's house I was sitting next to Nolan in the car and he started to laugh. I could tell he was excited about something and then all of a sudden pulled some cash out of his sweatshirt pocket. I asked him where he got the money from. He said he did some chores for grandpa, and he paid him some money so he would have some money to buy me a birthday gift. I thought that was so sweet that Nolan was worried about not having money to buy me something and sweet of my dad to give him the opportunity to earn some. My dad said he worked really hard to earn it. He helped him clean his house and pick up sticks in the yard. My dad said when he gave him the money Nolan asked for a little extra so he could have some for himself. My dad said okay and gave him a few extra dollars so he could buy himself a treat. I love that story and memory!
I always thought turning 40 would mean I was getting older. It certainly is a milestone birthday. I did think that maybe at 40 things would be a little different for me. I would wish a few things were different. I wish I had a little more confidence in life and who I was. I wish I was happier with how I look and more forgiving of myself for the flaws I see in myself. I wish my mom was still here, I would have never guessed she wouldn't be with me when I turned 40. I wish JJ and I were better set financially but our story is still something to be proud of. I wish I could have seen more of the world, been able to travel more with my family. Knowing that my mom only lived 25 more years then I am right now makes me want to be around much longer. I want to view this milestone as just that, a marking of a new decade. I know that life can be long and just because I might not have achieved things I had hoped to by now there is still time. There is still a lot of life to live and I am thankful for that!
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