Lucy is almost three weeks post op!  She is cleared to return to normal activities which is so exciting.  She has been excited to return to playing basketball.  She joined a spring team and has been watching practices with them until she can play again.  The let her on the team based on her playing that saw during her school season since she missed tryouts.  I sent these pictures to Dr. Siebert and he said she still has some areas that are healing.  Some areas are still a little swollen and it will still be a few more weeks until she is fully recovered and healed.  We truly feel that Dr. Siebert has given Lucy back a face that's pretty darn close to the original.  I still look at her sometimes and wonder what she would look like if none of this ever happened.  I wonder if she looks like me. Do we have similar features?  After each surgery I have to get use to her "new" face.  I find myself studying her changes and staring at her.  Lucy knows it and will laugh at me as I look at her.  She will always tell me everything is fine.  I have a period of time that I mourn her face after each surgery.  I mourn the loss of the face that I had just gotten used to, and I mourn all over again that this is a part of her life.  There are still days I question if we did the right thing by doing all these surgeries.  Was the pain all worth going through and did we truly get the best results.  When I look at her and the results we have and when I hear her talk about how happy she is, I know we did the right thing.  There are some areas that will always show marks of her disease and aren't worth messing with over and over again.  At some point you realize this is Lucy and this is her face for right now.  I know that she knows this face is just temporary for her time here on earth.  She knows that someday in heaven she will have a perfect face and we will get to see what she is supposed to look like.  I also know that no matter how many surgeries we do and no matter what her face looks like she is still my little Lucy.  That twinkle in her eye and the bright smile she has will always be the same to me.  I know that while her features might not look a lot like mine there are other features and characteristics of mine that she can inherit and that is more meaningful.  

 

Spring Break

We had a nice relaxing spring break at home.  With Lucy still recovering and Garrett getting his wisdom teeth out we decided to stay home.  We relaxed a lot at home, got some things done around the house and just enjoyed not having so much to do.  We watched the Elmore's dog Harley for them while they went out of town.  Jack enjoyed having her here to play with, they enjoyed going in and out all day long.  We had several days of rain so that was hard to not be able to take them on nice long walks.  It also made the yard muddy and their paws muddy.  We went to Dairy Queen on Monday for a free ice cream cone to celebrate the first day of spring.  Garrett enjoyed the cold treat and at his with a spoon.  Garrett got creative with placing his frozen corn bags in his hoodie, so his hands were free to still play the Xbox.  One evening Garrett and Lucy had some friends come over to hang out.  That was fun for them, they had root beer floats and played games together in the basement.  We made a trip to Menards and got a new microwave, ours broke and we have missed being able to warm things up easily.  Slowly we have replaced almost every appliance in our kitchen.  We hope the stove/oven can hold on to a little bit longer.  We would love a break from replacing things in our home. We also got some more shelves for our storage room.  I feel like it has gotten really bad the past few months.  It's hard to organize and keep clean when we have been running out of space to put things.  Garrett was really helpful with organizing things.  Hopefully with some things thrown away and everything else organized better we can keep the storage room looking better.  As we left for Madison with Lucy the boys asked if they could do something special with us sometime.  I thought that was a great idea, some one-on-one time with the boys!  Nolan decided for our time he wanted to go to the circus.  We went opening night and had a fun time with him.  It wasn't as impressive as when we went a few years ago but it was fun to go and spend time with him.  Grandma and Grandpa Smith just returned from vacation and sent us some souvenirs.  The boys got some pajama pants and had fun trying them on and flexing their muscles.  Lucy and I got some cute zipper pouches that will be nice for makeup or something.  It wasn't the most glamour spring break and I know it would have been so fun to go on a vacation.  For me I enjoyed just being home, getting things done.  I enjoyed the time off work and time to get longer workouts in, work on projects that have been put off and most of all relax.  

 

Garrett's Wisdom Teeth

About a month ago Garrett had a dentist appointment.  The dentist told me that Garretts wisdom teeth needed to come out.  He said he was really young but his bottom wisdom teeth were coming in at an angle and starting to push against his back molars.  Since he had already completed braces, he didn't want to mess up all the orthodontic work we had done.  Our friend Maryann is an oral surgeon and we had her take them out for us.  Garrett was a little nervous as we headed to his appointment.  When you have never had anything like this it's a big deal.  I don't even think he has every had an IV or bloodwork.  His appointment wasn't until after lunch and he couldn't eat anything all morning.  That was hard for him!  Maryann was so sweet and made things really easy for him.  They had him on the laughing gas before doing anything.  I could tell that he was already loopy on the gas.  Taking the teeth out didn't take long.  Maybe 20 minutes.  When I went back to see him, he was so loopy!  He was crying and shaking a little, but she said that was all normal.  All four teeth came out really easy, there were no problems.  The top teeth were still developing and didn't even have much root on them yet.  He was talking and crying and trying to wake up.  He was so funny on all the drugs.  He wanted to take his shirt off and show the staff his big muscles.  I got him to keep all his clothes on but that didn't keep him from flexing his biceps and pulling his sleeve up for them to see.  He was so goofy as we left the office.  He was so calm coming in but as we left, he sounded like a crazy drunk.  All the way home he chewed on his gauze and wanted to eat it because it had protein in it.  As we walked into the house Lucy and Nolan got a kick out of him.  He was dancing and singing as he washed his hands.  I loved being able to see him so silly.  I haven't laughed that hard in a long time!  Not long after we got home the medicine started to wear off.  He then was really sleepy and just sat there staring into space.  Once he was awake and ok, I headed to Walmart to fill his pain medicine and get a few things.  He was feeling pretty good the rest of the day.  He kept some frozen corn on his face on and off the evening.  He was able to take some pain medicine and eat some soft food.  We even went out for an ice cream cone that night, he ate his with a spoon.  Hopefully his recovery will be quick since it was an easy extraction, and he is young.    

 

Happy Birthday Heather

Sunday evening, the day before my birthday, we had my family over to celebrate.  I was so thankful they were willing and able to come be with me.  JJ worked hard on making a cake for me.  He started Saturday evening, making the cake from scratch.  My dad came over earlier and had dinner with us and then we got ready for everyone to come over.  We started to assemble the cake with the cream cheese filling, and I could see it wasn't very thick.  I didn't put too much on and then put it in the fridge to hopefully set.  We pulled it out to have my dad take a picture and to put the candles on.  All of a sudden while we were standing there the cake started to fall apart.  We hurried and tried to put it back together.  We stuck a few toothpicks in to hold it but it didn't help.  The filling was too soft to support the cake. It was only getting worse.  I held the candles and we hurried and lite them and sang.  Christy's family walked in the door just as we were going to sing.  It still tasted amazing, and I was thankful for JJ and his hard work on making it.  We laughed about it and hoped that the cake falling apart wasn't a sign to me as to what will come now that I am 40.  We all had cake and ice cream and enjoyed visiting.  Christy had brought up a clip from a family video that Joe wanted to see.  I got out my home videos and we enjoyed watching a few, including the clip Joe wanted to see.  It was Christy's famous singing of "Silver Bells" on Christmas day.  It was fun to see us all together and having so much fun.  Lucy mentioned to me later how much she enjoyed watching them and said they were really fun.  I told her that we had a lot of fun when we were growing up.  There was always something fun going on, someone to hang out with and always lots of laughter. 

My birthday was Monday, a normal day of work and activities.  The ladies at work were sweet and sang to me and got me a cookie cake.  JJ surprised me by coming by during Nolans lunch with some cookies from Twisted Sugar.  I shared them with the ladies at work and then brought home what was left.  Lucy and I went back to Twisted Sugar for my birthday cookie.  That evening I put a candle in the cookie, and everyone sang to me again since it was my actual birthday.  The kids and JJ got me some thoughtful gifts.  I know Lucy took the boys shopping and they all picked out some things for me.  It was really sweet!  When we had picked the boys up from my dad's house I was sitting next to Nolan in the car and he started to laugh.  I could tell he was excited about something and then all of a sudden pulled some cash out of his sweatshirt pocket.  I asked him where he got the money from.  He said he did some chores for grandpa, and he paid him some money so he would have some money to buy me a birthday gift.  I thought that was so sweet that Nolan was worried about not having money to buy me something and sweet of my dad to give him the opportunity to earn some.  My dad said he worked really hard to earn it.  He helped him clean his house and pick up sticks in the yard.  My dad said when he gave him the money Nolan asked for a little extra so he could have some for himself.  My dad said okay and gave him a few extra dollars so he could buy himself a treat.  I love that story and memory! 

I always thought turning 40 would mean I was getting older.  It certainly is a milestone birthday.  I did think that maybe at 40 things would be a little different for me.  I would wish a few things were different.  I wish I had a little more confidence in life and who I was.  I wish I was happier with how I look and more forgiving of myself for the flaws I see in myself.  I wish my mom was still here, I would have never guessed she wouldn't be with me when I turned 40.  I wish JJ and I were better set financially but our story is still something to be proud of.  I wish I could have seen more of the world, been able to travel more with my family.  Knowing that my mom only lived 25 more years then I am right now makes me want to be around much longer.  I want to view this milestone as just that, a marking of a new decade.  I know that life can be long and just because I might not have achieved things I had hoped to by now there is still time.  There is still a lot of life to live and I am thankful for that!

 

Basketball Banquet

Lucy had a basketball banquet Thursday evening.  When we saw the date, we knew she would only be one week post op.  We weren't sure if that would work or if she would be up for it.  I was glad she was! I knew she really wanted to go.  It was the first time they have had a banquet and the girls sure deserved it! They had a great season and deserved to hear some good things said about them.  Lucy's coaches had some wonderful remarks about Lucy.  She was such a hard worker, she put in the time during the off season, and they recognized it.  They commented that when they needed someone to score some points, they gave the ball to Lucy to hit a three pointer.  They mentioned her teamwork and ability to be a team player, on and off the court.  They said she was overall such a great part of the team, and we loved hearing that her skills were not the only thing recognized.  She was a friend and encouraged the girls on and off the court, those qualities are a high value in my book.  She was also recognized for her academic work and was recognized as a GAC all academic athlete.  We loved watching Lucy play this season and can't wait to see what the last two years in High School will hold.  She loves playing and loves her teammates. She is sad that the season is over but has plans to play on a spring team so she can continue to work hard and keep a ball in her hands. 

1 week post op

 

Lucy took some days off school to rest and heal.  She tried to look online a little bit and see all the missing work she would need to make up.  By Wednesday and Thursday, she went to a few classes.  Ones that she knew she couldn't get too far behind in.  She said a few people made comments about her stitches and bruising but she just gave brief explanations and didn't pay to much attention to them.  She knew she needed to get working on some school work and was feeling up to it.  I am glad she didn't let her appearance keep her from going to school.  By Friday she went all day long.  

I have been asking my manager for more fresh produce and items I can put out on my salad bar for the kids.  She has listened to me and I have been receiving more produce then we can go through each week.  I am so happy to know that has listened to my request.  She knows I will prepare the food and put it out for the kids. It makes me happy to know she values me as a hard worker.  It also makes me so happy to hear the kids excited about the food choices they have. 

 

Heading Home

Saturday morning Lucy was able to take the bandage off her neck.  She was really looking forward to this.  It bothered her a lot.  I was glad to see the incision he made this time wasn't as long as the first one. It should heal really well. She was able to eat a little better this morning.  We ate, packed up and then got our room all picked up so we could head home. I had chatted with Dr. Siebert Friday, and he said we were good to go. As we drove out of town, we could see the lake covered with people ice fishing.  We were ready to be home and see the boys.  We drove right to my dad's house to pick the boys up.  They were excited to see us!  They had such a fun time together.  My dad enjoyed all the food I had prepared for them.  They enjoyed going out for a treat every night.  They got milk shakes at Arby's, cookies and soda from Twisted Sugar, donuts and candy from Walmart one night to enjoy while they watched a movie.  They had a sugary time without us and the boys loved it.  I know the boys made some fun memories together and that makes me happy.  My dad told me that the house might not be as clean as I left it and they had a lot of sugar but they had fun and everyone was still in one piece.  I call that a success!  We got the car unloaded, had some dinner, showered and were ready for bed.  Jack was so excited to snuggle up with Lucy. She was just as excited to snuggle with him.  He is such a great little companion to her while she heals.  They will be buddies for the next little while. I couldn't help but feel so blessed that night.  We had a very successful trip, successful surgery and were now home again as a family.  

 

Friday we all enjoyed sleeping in.  We got up early and made sure Lucy had something to eat so she could take her pain medicine. We then went back to sleep.  After breakfast Lucy relaxed and iced her face while JJ and I got a little exercise in down in the fitness room.  I know that sitting around the house is not Lucy's favorite thing.  I suggested we get out and have a change of scenery after lunch.  The house always gives a gift to the kids when we check in.  They thought Lucy was a little old for a toy and blanket, so they offered her a gift card.  She picked out a Target gift card.  There is a Target just down the street and I thought it would be fun to let her go pick something out.  We walked around Target, and she picked out some new earrings, some rings and a makeup blush stick.  JJ was hopeful he would find some Wisconsin University shirts there but no luck.  We decided to go to the university gift shop.  They didn't have great parking options so we just parked and figured we wouldn't be in there very long.  The gift shop was under the stadium, you could see the football field from the store.  JJ and Lucy both picked out a t-shirt and Lucy got a decal for the back of her car.  We walked out and found a parking ticket on our car.  We were so bummed!  We should have just downloaded the parking ap and paid for parking.  It was just such a hassle.  We weren't even in the store for more than 20 minutes.  The parking ticket was for $30, nothing to do about it but pay it.  So frustrating.  We then had to stop by the hospital pharmacy to pick up some more medicine for Lucy.  Then she wanted an Orange Julius for a snack.  Her lips were super sore and eating/drinking through a straw was all she could really do.  We went back to the room for naps, that outing was exhausting for her.  It really takes a while for the anesthesia to get out of your system.  We had dinner, face timed with everyone back home.  Nolan would try to facetime us all the time.  He missed us so much.  That evening the family room was finally available, so we went in there to watch a movie together.  We watched "The Art of Racing in the Rain".  By time it was over we were all ready for bed.  We had a busy day and I think it was also fun.  I think it was really helpful for Lucy to get out and run a few errands.  I always explain to JJ how when we were there for her first surgery we sat in our room for days and days.  It was very hard. There are some hard memories of recovering in the Ronald McDonald house.   I am hopeful we can create more happy and fun memories there too that will help.